The Morning Wood - 08/08/2006

Stud: Roger Goodell
This honky looks to be the heir apparent to Paul Tagliabue. Congratulations on the new position although I think Tags left you with some things to worry about: Half of the league seems to have been arrested this off season, LA is going to be a royal pain in the ass until they get a team they can ignore, and at some point, Congress is going to get their heads out of their asses and start saying “wait a second, the NFL doesn’t test for HGH either?”

Dud: Mark Buehrle
Maybe in exchange for Mike MacDougal the White Sox could have shipped Buehrle to the Royals, considering he's packed it in for the season. Buehrle's line last night: 6.2 IP, 7 hits, 6ER, 3HR's. At one point this season Buehrle was 9-4 and then he decided there was no point in trying anymore. Since the beginning of July, he's been 0-6 with a 9.61 ERA. That's worst in MLB during that timeframe.

Talk Around The Cooler:
In a shocker, the Wizards decided not to match the Knicks' 5-year, 30 million dollar offer for Jared Jefferies (commonly referred to as Mushmouth - of Fat Albert fame). That stellar career 6.1 points per game average of Jeffries' just screams "6 million per year contract." Good job, Zeke. If you had the chance to be on a last place team or an exciting, up and coming team, which would you choose? Exactly, the one where you can ball 'til you fall, floss like no other and throw that scrilla at the bitches 'n shit.

So, the trendy, chic developments coming out of training camps is wide receivers with hamstring pulls. First we had Steve Smith and now we have both, Terrell Owens and Terry Glenn on the sideline. I guarantee you Fred Taylor is not happy about these other players stealing his thunder.

The WSOP (hate this abbreivation) is heating up and you should be getting ready to watch it for 14 hours a day on ESPN2. The most interesting story so far is that one of the remaining players is going to donate his winnings to charity. David Einhorn is straight ballin! Although I would assume he would have chosen a charity like “Gamblers Anonymous” or “Dudes that wear sunglasses indoors Group”, all his earnings will be given to the Michael J. Fox Foundation, of course formed to keep tall actors out of Hollywood.

Quick Hits:
Bad news for the Twins. Leinart, quit with the prima donna shit and get in camp. Team USA has started out rather strongly in their tune up for the World Championships and I point my finger at one person as the cause: Larry Brown. See, this is what happens when you play the youngins like Lebron, DWade and Melo. You win! Hell, even Mike Krzyzewski is smart enough to do that. I wish you the absolute worst. In case you were wondering, the "trade deadline" ended last week...kind of.