The Morning Wood - 08/23/2006

Stud: Carlos Delgado and Albert Pujols
As on site SU correspondent Giddy reported, these two were on fiyah last night. A combined 4 HR's and 12 RBI's. Funny, I don't recall ordering sausage. Carlos "2005? Nah, never heard of it" Beltran stole the show though as the Mets win with a walkoff.

Dud: Justin Gatlin
Damn homey, this hurts. Justin Gatlin copped a plea and caught an 8 year ban. Although he has the right to appeal after 6 months, it's starting to look like a "Sorry Miss Gatlin hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmm, I am fo real" situation. No clue what that means. I'm pissed because the upcoming race between Gatlin and Asafa (Jamaican for "steroids, shit no, don't touch the stuff") Powell could have been a classic battle. Or it could have been that hand jobathon that they set up between Donovan Bailey and Michael Johnson. So maybe I'm not missing anything. Either way, tainted is a funny word.

Talk Around the Cooler:
The US team won their pool! It's amazing what a team can do in international competition when not coached by this stiff, or this stiff for that matter. The Italian team did keep up with the US though, so preach caution about the Stars and Stripes enthusiasm from the coworkers. These colors don't run, and that might actually be the biggest problem. Carmelo Anthony dropped 35 points last night, breaking the U.S. International single game record previously held by Kenny Anderson from 1990. Wait, Kenny Anderson? Jesus, our international program was crap before the dream team.

Quick Hits...
Nick Markakis hit three homeruns last night and has had a quiet but productive rookie year. Jim Beattie all but has him traded to the Yankees for Prince Sid. Hell of a scalp on that guy. LaMarcus Aldridge will have surgery for his shoulder and will be out 6-8 weeks. He will unfortunately miss important Blazer team initiations like "brandishing your gun like you mean it", "fishbowling your Escalade" and "Marriage Advice with Dom Vio." The Pacers finally get Al Harrington...again. Ashlie Lelie was acquired by the Atlanta Falcons yesterday in a three team deal. Has there even been a combination of two dudes that have been more over hyped than Ashlie Lelie and Michael Vick? Great trade: combine a guy with a shitty work ethic who has no interest in running any routes with a guy that couldn't hit the broadside of a Health Clinic offering free STD check ups with a spiral.