The Morning Wood - 08/10/2006

Stud: David Ross
Who? Some journeyman catcher for the Reds of Cincinnati hit a game-winning two-run homa in the ninth to beat the Cardinals of St. Louis, 8-7. The man has 14 homeruns in 146 at-bats, so the questions follow, A: can we get a steriod test, and B: why aren't the Reds playing this guy full-time? With 500 at-bats, that's about 50 homeruns. But I guess they do have Jason LaRue, who, for $4 mil, is hitting .184. The win pushed Cincy just 2 1/2 games back of the Cards, which speaks to the Reds' surge as much as it does the RedBirds' fall from grace. The National League is pathetic.

Dud: Maurice Clarett
Dear Lord, just look at that graphic that ESPN threw together. The sad part is, it's completely accurate (well, w/the possible exception of the freakin lint brush). MoC apparently loves the goose, loves the guns, and loves the drunkdial. During a call to ESPN reporter Tom Friend, he claimed to have called Jim "Education is for Pussies" Tressel and "good buddy" LeBron James. He just had a child, too, and said he'd go to jail for 30 years for her. Probably the most coherent and logical thought he's had in a while. You really couldn't paint a crazier tale, so check it out. Not so much funny-haha, but funny-holyshitthisguyisinsane.

Talk Around the Cooler:
The Sox are on a serious slide, and all of New England is about ready to sprinkle some cyanidesugar on their toast this morning. I'm going to go on a temporary boycott of sportstalk radio until they win, for fear that my ears will bleed. I think that the Sox will pull it together and make the playoffs, but I'm just a wide-eyed, countryboy optimist. What they really need is a four-game series against...themselves. Shit.

Quick Hits...
I don't care if you don't care, this is huge. That's one of the top 3 clubs in the world that D.C. pushed with. This man hit two homeruns against his former club, the NY Mets, last night. Stop looking at that picture. Stop it. Stop it! I know, I can't stop either. Some recent college grad is in the final 9 at the World Series of Poker. I'm unemployed. Douglas Kim apparently thinks he's better than me.