The Late Morning Wood - 08/21/2005

Stud: Tiger Tiger Woods, Y'all!
Um...he's pretty good. And he's always wanted to say one thing - fa Shizzle. Maybe when Tiger Woods is leading in the final round the telecast should focus on other things since we all know the win is in the bag.

Suggested Topics:
- Discussion of what Tiger's wife looks like nude (done as the camera pans up and down Elin's body while she watches her husband play - thoughts are that David Feherty would offer great color commentary)
- Bets on what size bra Phil Mickelson wears, or Colin Montgomerie or fuck it...to many to name
- % of minorities watching the tournament who try to claim they're related to Tiger Woods


Dud: Red Sox
Is there any other choice? The Sox decided their weekend series with the Yankees would be the perfect time to give up on the season and they've done it in grand fashion. Maybe next time there's a serious need that has to be addressed leading up to the trade deadline they should do something about it. Especially when your division rival is stockpiling everything they can to improve.

Talk Around The Cooler:
Marion Jones tried to outrun a drug test but finished second. What will be the completely rock solid (read: far-fetched) excuse this time around? Maybe Floyd Landis is a racist and tainted her urine with his demon excrement?

It's always great to retire on your own terms. Hopefully the situation with Tom Glavine will end better than it seems right now. I am a sensitive motherfucker.

With this kind of behavior, Cubs fans are getting the product they deserve on the field. Yes, Dusty Baker may have completely ruined an arm or two, but it's baseball - not the Civil War. Let's relax a little.

Quick Hits:
Danny Almonte Alert!!! What's wrong with us? You just got JACKED UP!