The Morning Wood - 08/16/2006

Stud: Dikembe Mutombo
The Congolese stud recently donated $15 million to build a hospital in Kinshasa, where he was born. Give the finger wave to malaria! The facility will be named after his mother, which is only appropriate, as the over/under on # of hours she was in labor is 263. It's nice to see a professional athlete display such selfless charity in these days of the Cincinnati Bengals, the Cincinnati Bengals and the Cincinnati Bengals. Good work, Deke. After this, everyone should want to sex Mutombo.

Dud: Lonny Baxter
Hey Lon, what the fuck are you doing poppin' off around 1600 Pennsylvania Ave? You got a problem w/George Dub? Write a letter to your congressman. Maybe he was a little perturbed that former Maryland teammate Chris Wilcox signed a huge deal, or the fact that this Terrapin is still in the League, while he's about to go sip espresso with this stud. Either way, professional athletes, PLEASE STOP CARRYING GUNS AROUND LIKE ALTOIDS.

Talk Around the Cooler:
The Dodgers have won 17 of their last 18, moving them just a percentage point behind the dipping Cardinals for second best record in the National League. And all of this w/out the power of the goat. Their starters are 12-1 with a 2.55 ERA during the same stretch, which is absolutely sick. Can we give Grady Little some love? This is coming from a team that lost 13 of 14 right before this streak. While I don't want to take anything away from them, some of it has to do with how garbage the NL is.

Quick Hits:
Shaq inked a shoe deal w/a Chinese shoe company. A few things: Does this increase his stranglehold on Yao? Can you even call him out on sweatshop labor when he's so unabashed about it? Will he move in on Damon Jones' stable of Asian bitches? We'll be following this closely. Everyone, stop. Just stop. The Red Sox are really testing my patience. I long for the days of Tim Wakefield.