The Morning Wood - 08/22/2006

Stud: Bryant Gumbel
Someone toss a dashiki on Mr. Gumbel, 'cause he done got militant. On his HBO program, "Real Sports," he recently called out Gene Upshaw, head of the NFL players' union, saying former commish Paul Tagliabue kept him "on a leash." I love it. It's about time that someone used their soapbox to rant about the fact that NFLers' contracts aren't guaranteed, like they are in every other professional sport. The league does a lot of things better than any other sports organization in America (revenue sharing, effective salary cap, ), but this isn't one of them. If this guy can't feed his family with guaranteed money, how can we expect the Cincinnati Bengals to post bail if their contracts can be terminated at the owner's leisure? It's an injustice, and I'm glad BG took a timeout from sampling the white meat to expose the problem.

Dud: Aaron Rowand
This man is a total menace on the baseball field. He's one of those guys that gives all high school coaches hard-ons b/c of his "hustle," but what he's really doing is endangering himself, his eight teammates on the field, and possibly several fans. After making this remarkably unathletic catch earlier in the season, which got his team the out, but also left them without a centerfielder for over two weeks, he has struck again - this time sending himself to the sidelines for 4-6 weeks w/a broken ankle after trucking Chase Utley in the outfield. It was Utley's catch to make, but that crazy hustler Rowand came barreling right into him, jarring the ball loose and leaving the Phillies to chase the wildcard w/out a center fielder. All I'm saying is that it's tough to play balls to the wall with your head up your ass.

Talk Around the Cooler:
Blue Jays' manager John Gibbons got into a scuffle with pitcher Ted Lilly after taking Lilly out in the third inning of last night's game against the A's. Lilly had given up seven runs in the inning, but wanted to stay in and see if he could help Jason Kendall hit his first home run since 1998. I find it tough to say that either of these two could justify their actions. If one more reporter refers to either one as an "intense competitor," I'm going to lose it. Last I heard, that wasn't an excuse for acting like a five-year-old.

Quick Hits...
Jesse Barfield, you got punk'd! Tempting fate is always a good idea. Spare kidneys are a dime a dozen. Saudi Arabia has a 6'8" kid on the Little League team, which makes you wonder, who the fuck plays baseball in Saudi Arabia? There's an Eva Longoria joke in here somewhere. Ridiculous.