The Morning Wood - 08/09/2006

Stud: The Los Angeles Dodgers
The Dodgers have won 11 games in a row, streaking like undershorts after a Dunkin Donuts breakfast sandwich! Greg Maddux is channeling the ghost of Orel Hershiser and Grady Little is a managing genius! Who really gives a shit though!

Dud: The Boston Red Sox
The Red Sox suck! They drop two out of three to the Devil Rays and then they continue their season limbo, going as low as they can go by losing to the lowly Royals. Last night was the Royals 39th victory of the season. Just for comparison, the Red Sox won their 39th game on June 18th. And they have this douche bag rooting for them! The sky is falling!


Talk Around The Cooler:
I have had just about enough of the whole Floyd Landis thing. I have had enough of the coverage and I have certainly had enough of his excuses. It was the whiskey, it was the cortisone shot, my body is a testosterone-producing machine, it wasn’t me biking, it was the one-armed man, there was a second shooter, it was hip hop and Grand Theft Auto III. Enough! Pick one made up excuse and sell that until you die.

Quick Hits:
Maurice Clarett, Dear Lord. Michelle Wie fired her caddy, as it was obviously his fault that she keeps playing in men's tournaments. The Reds are wondering why they weren’t aware of Gary Majewski’s sore shoulder when they traded for him. I’m willing to bet that he tired out the arm combing those girlie locks. The Bengals have increased Carson Palmer's workload, requiring him to commit at least one felony or two misdemeanors daily.