The Morning Wood - 06/09/2006

Stud: Jason Terry
The Former Wildcat that apparently everyone in the world now calls "Jet" (where was I when this started to be a thing?) dropped 32 on the Miami Humidity, grabbing the game one victory for the Mavs. Apparently "Jet" has a superstition where he sleeps in the shorts of his opponent the night before the game but he couldn't get a pair from the Heat for Wednesday night so he just wore his own. Umm, awesome ritual Jason, and I'm sure Bill Walton is really yucking it up about how wacky players are (after all, he did have to rub this before every game), but how 'bout you stick with your own shorts. Hopefully they're baggy enough for breathing room for your massive Finals Marbles. Mark Cuban is fired up about the victory.

Dud: Detroit Tigers
Well you somehow managed to trick most of America into believing you're a real team but you came back down to earth in the last 10, managing to only grab three wins against the Yankees, Red Sox, and White Sox (aka real teams). I'd like to believe that you'll get by with Frankenstein and Anorexic Pudge but you're just one camera smash away from this guy switching from his normal cancer sticks to something a little bit stronger, possibly provided by this man.

Talk Around the Cooler:
The World Cup starts today, as millions of Americans tune in to increase their already rampant xenophobia. My challenging pick: The chronically mono-named Brazilian squad is apparently good. And just because I found it, we're missing you Maradona. But not as much as a salad might be.

HGH, HGH! Let the witch hunt begin. Luckily Jason Grimsley played with like 1,400 ball players so pretty much everyone is guilty until proven innocent. All I know is I'm tossing an * next to his 2 career RBI's.

Quick Hits...
Rich Harden actually managed to get a start in between DL stints, reminding people why they love/hate him. Curt Schilling is the AL's first 9 game winner, joining Tom Glavine as the only pitchers in the majors to reach that total. For those counting at home, their combined age is 79. The Reds can't stop winning. Joseph McCarthy is concerned. Reggie Bush has petitioned the NFL to have the Saints victory total be "5" for the year. Mike Lowell managed to catch a pop up in foul territory in Yankee Stadium and stay on the field last night. I thought it was impossible. An estimated six teams are drafting the "next Dirk Nowitzki" in this year's NBA Draft. None of the teams planning on drafting the "next" any of these guys.