The Morning Wood - 06/06/2006

Stud: You know it's a slow night in sports when a pucker wins this, but I have to give it to Rod Brind'Amour (translation Brind'Love) for his two goal performance, including the game winner in Game 1 of the Stanley (no relation) Cup.

Dud: Got to go to Josh Beckett after his outing last night. Josh, I'll give you a bad outing now and again but elite pitchers are still able to keep their teams in the game even when they don't have their best stuff. You gave up a home run to Wilson Phillips. At least now we know that the Yankees don't use dollar bills as toilet paper: They just crap down Beckett's throat and use his stubble to wipe.

Talk Around the Cooler...
Ken Griffey Jr. tied a record that would probably be different if baseball players hadn't been treated like indentured servants for 75 years, unable to be traded from one league to another and if any owner before 1990 had the financial backing to build new stadiums on whims.

Michelle Wie was out playing with the boys and once again fell short. I don't mean to tell her what to do, but wouldn't it be the natural progression to win a women's tournament before trying to tackle the pro tour? It worked for her.

Quick Hits... Chris Henry, just stay at home and play video games for fun. If you keep this up, you'll end up in jail...or with a job at ESPN. Steve McNair won the right to fail a physical. Rasheed Wallace guarantees he will have a 10 AM tee time today. Rafael Nadal could extend his clay court winning streak to 3,000 matches and he would still owe me an explanation for these.

On a serious note, rest in peace to Eric Gregg, an umpire who rarely ever pissed me off.