The Morning Wood - 06/01/2006

Stud(s) :
Roger Clemens: Somehow everyone turns the other way as he holds the Astros hostage for a second straight year and they still agree to give him $3.7 million a month. Based on Dan Duquette's statements, this is the 10th season of the twilight of his career.

Brandon Webb: Runs his scoreless streak to 25 innings against the Mets although catches the dreaded No Decision. This is the longest scoreless streak since this swinger .

Dud(s):
Debbie Clemens: With a body like this, we would assume you could keep your man at home. Now that he has unretired for the third time, we're starting to worry about you. Damn, maybe you just need to start moving a little more in bed, I don't know, something besides missionary.

Jason Kendall: Congrats on hitting your first home run since July 27th, 2004. 961 At Bats. Wow.

Talk Around the Cooler...
GM Allard Baird has been fired by the Royals. He plans on spending his time off by not watching awful baseball played by over-the-hill veterans.

Doc Gooden has said that he would rather "get shot" than return to jail. I think he fails to mention the likely scenario: that he will get shot and thrown back in jail.

Dirk and L'il Steve fight the urge to kiss each other on court as the Mavs and Suns meet for Game 5 tonight.

Quick Hits...
Chad Pennington is working his way back to throwing like a girl and the Jets are excited: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2464296

Wayne Gretzky is back for five more years. She bet the over of 6 years.