The Morning Wood - 12/12/2006

Stud: Devin Hester
Kind of ridiculous, but the stud rook returned another two kickoffs for touchdowns last night while leading the Bears to a 42-27 victory over the team formerly known as The Greatest Show on Turf. The 94- and 96-yard scampers might put this guy in the running for ROY, even though he has more TD returns (6) than tackles (5) on the season. While Devin sites Deion Sanders as his idol/mentor, it's still unclear whether or not it "must be the money." With Hester taking a little pressure off of gunslinger heir-apparent Rex Grossman, RG was able to get his quarterback rating into multiple positive digit territory. This is good, because Mushim Muhammad was starting to get a little bit uncomfortable and self-conscious about that commercial he and Rex made about voting for each other for the Pro Bowl.

Dud: Scott Boras
This man has moronic, soul-less balls of steel. He is demanding "well in excess of $100 million" over five or six years from the BoSox for rookie Daisuke Matsuzaka because that's what "free-agent pitchers who are 26 and have Matsuzaka-like ability" get in free agency. Um, Scott, I'm pretty sure the only pitchers who made even close to that kind of scrilla per annum were Roger Clemens, Mike Mussina, and Andy Pettite - guys who might have credentials that are just a little bit more impressive than an wildcard who has never faced MLB competition. So he struck out some dudes from China and Chinese Taipei in the WBC. You know who else could have? That's right. This isn't to say that I don't think Mats is going to be solid, he just shouldn't be represented by some dickhead who says things like "In Japan, he's known as a national treasure. Here, he will be known as Fort Knox." Scott, enjoy the ninth circle of hell, zone 4.

Talk Around the Cooler:
Kudos to David Stern for swallowing his pride and ditching the composite ball in favor of the one that had worked fine for the last fifty years. After stars such as Dwayne Wade, Dirk Nowitzki and Steve Nash continued to gripe, the last straw came with Jarrett Jack's affirmation that he "loves it." The new ball was apparently giving the players papercut-like lacerations on their finger tips, something the NBA apparently didn't figure out after their extensive "testing," which included Steve Kerr and Mark Jackson heaving 3s with minimal athleticism for fifteen mintues. I think that's actually 75% true. The switch will be implemented on January 1st, though I can't see the rationale behind not doing it immediately. Let's hope that this is the last we hear of this story.

Quick Hits...
While Marvin Lewis should be embarrassed, and while I don't condone drunk driving, blowing a .10 with the legal limit of .08 is without question the least egrigious of the Bengali follies. Nice story, weird headline. More weird money. At this rate, Patt Rapp will be demanding 5 years, $55 million. Freddie Adu was dealt to Real Salt Lake on the same day that Jerry Sloan won his 1,000 game. What a great time to be a Mormon.