Bill Belichick is better than you...

Bill Belichick could have invented football if he wasn't focusing his attention on making the atomic bomb.
Referees ask Bill Belichick if he would be willing to accept penalties called against his team.
Halftime in a game is determined when Bill Belichick decides that he is bored with being the smartest person outdoors and that he wants to go be the smartest person inside a building for a half hour.
People make fun of the way Bill Belichick dresses, but I bet you would also like to wear something comfortable if you had invented the world in six days.
When Bill Belichick’s wife divorced him, she gave the classic “it’s not you, it’s me” line. But she was telling the truth.
Some naysayers mention that Bill Belichick's career record with the Cleveland Browns from 1991-1995 was 36-44. But what they fail to mention is that Lucifer was thwarted from taking over the world. Doesn't really show up in the wins column but I would say that was a big one.
Bill Belichick doesn’t blaspheme. He just says “Me Damn It!”
Every week, Bill Belichick has to list himself as doubtful because who knows when he will have to die for the sins of the world again.