The Morning Wood - 12/01/2006

Cash your checks son, it's the first of the month!

Stud: Flea Flickers
I still remember using this play in Tecmo Super Bowl with the Vikings. It’s effective son, especially against an overly aggressive defense, which the Ravens have proven to be on the field and on the streets. TJ Houshmandzadeh’s 40 yard TD reception was the only big play in an otherwise low key rainy game, keeping the Bengals playoff hopes alive, up until the point someone takes out Carson Palmer’s knee with a questionable tackle.

Dud: Tony Parker
He’s having a great year, averaging around 20 points, 5 assists, and 3 rebounds and the Spurs are looking sharp at 11-5. So why is Monsieur Parker listed as a dud? Because congratulations son, you get one vagina for the rest of your life!! And let’s just stop pretending that these guys didn’t all hit that while you were dating her. Also, ESPN.com, shut up with the whole “not desperate anymore” article title. And don’t do the “spur of the moment” thing. I’d rather you just talked about Nicolette Sheridan’s Adam’s apple. I’m personally excited for Tim Duncan’s best man speech. Just because I found it.

Talk Around the Cooler:
Bud Selig announced that he would retire after his contract runs out in 2009. I’d have to expect that there won’t be a lot of people banging on his door, begging him to stay for a couple more years. Although baseball has definitely grown exponentially in terms of profit, Selig’s reign as commissioner has been defined by a lack of a backbone. I personally think that baseball’s profits would have grown whether Selig was commissioner or if he just stayed under the rock he crawled out from. Selig’s low moment was probably when he decided to end the 2002 All Star game in a tie and his legacy will probably suffer as more stories and information about rampant drug use comes to the forefront. But enough about Selig, who is going to be the next commissioner of baseball? I would have to say that my first pick would be Derek Jeter, even though he would still be playing. He’s a great player, in fact that best defensive shortstop in the 21st century. He has certain intangibles that would translate well to the league. I don’t know what the intangibles are, but I do know that they would be a positive. Plus he’s a handsome guy. Jeter in ’09! Either him or Obama.

So ESPN.com had Kobe Bryant on its front page yesterday, wondering what is wrong with his knee and why he’s missing a quarter of his dunk attempts this year. So it’s completely natural that he goes in against the team with the best record in the NBA and drops an uberefficient 52 and gets a hug from Phil Jackson. What is my point here? Two things mainly: One, let’s not start worrying about players that are prime time. I’d rather focus on the fact that Ricky Davis sucks now. And two, I’m not sure if I really like or find it annoying when players get called out on something and then go out and toss up a superb performance as a grand “so there”. What does this really say about a professional athlete’s normal level of motivation? I’m not calling out Kobe specifically because he certainly has more than enough motivation (I saw the Nike ads) but this seems to be something that is happening all the more frequently. And I don’t think I like it.

Quick Hits...
If the NHL had fans, this would probably cause them to lose some. Wait wait wait, this wasn’t even for an Xbox 360? Couldn’t these two have had a more relevant competition, like who could go longer without wearing adult diapers? He’s still got it.