The Morning Wood - 11/28/2006

Stud: Joseph Addai
Shaun Alexander did have an amazing night with 201 yards, but he didn’t single-handedly win a fantasy football match up for me! Yosef ran for 171 and 4 touchdowns on Sunday night, hopefully eliminating the platoon that T.Dung was working with Domenick “Hit the” Rhodes. An added bonus is that Addai looks as if he is as old as Carl Winslow.

Dud: Mike Vanderjagt & Jake Plummer
White people suck! Vanderjagt successfully lost his touch in a playoff game against Pittsburgh, his mind in the offseason, and his job midway through the season. My bet is that Tony Romo will just start kicking field goals as well because everyone knows he can do anything he puts his mind to. Jake Plummer’s season last year was a lot like a George W. Bush press conference: if you don’t ask him to do too much, he might look okay. If Georgie is able to stick to nodding his head and waving and Snakey is allowed to hand off 35 times a game and occasionally roll out and hit a tight end or something, you almost start to feel comfortable having them in charge. But you always know deep down inside, if someone starts discussing nuclear warfare or Iraq or if the running game isn’t working and the team falls behind 14-0 early, the true essence of the loser will return. Now Jake has lost his job to rookie Jay Cutler and this is going to be a high gain/loss move by Coach Mike Shanahan. I can’t see it working out for the Broncos this year and I can’t see it working out for the viewing public either. Where are we going to get to see that ridiculous picture of a mustachioed Jake Plummer now?

Talk Around the Cooler:
It seems like it is almost inevitable that Manny Ramirez is done as a Boston Red Sock and personally, I’m sad. I’m pissed, I’m angry, and I’m worried. I know Manny could be a handful and that he has requested a trade out of Boston every offseason (he was probably requesting trades out of Boston when he was still with Cleveland) and that it has been said that he quit on the team last year. I also know that he was as close as you could possibly get to a guaranteed of .300, 40 HRs, and 125 RBIs from a right hand hitter this side of Albert Pujols. I never once saw Manny as the type of TO-like malcontent whose antics would destroy a team. Sure, he drove Theo, Terry, and Larry Lucchino crazy but did his actions hurt the other players? I don’t think so. I’ll miss him for his offensive production, his adventures in left, but also for the overall circus atmosphere that seemed to constantly revolve around him, from wearing a hat with a radio attached to it during a game to taking a piss break in the green monster. We’ll miss you Manny.

Quick Hits:
Another thing that will never happen again: me believing that you’ll ever become an effective passer in the NFL. Imagine what he would have been paid if his ERA was under five last year. Everyone here should just calm down and remember that both teams are good enough to beat the Bruins. I think that this all revolves around hair envy.