The Morning Wood - 09/28/2006

Stud: Nothing last night warranted a "stud" nomination. No, not Pujols' homer, not the extra inning results. Nothing, no one. I have high (read: feeling lazy today)

Dud: Pedro Martinez
So much for a playoff tuneup. Pedro was beaten up worse than Robin Givens in his outing last night against the Braves. His line: 2 2/3 IP, 7R and 8H. That is not good. Even worse, Pedro had this to say: "I should be in a rehab start right now, but I'm doing it against major-leaguers. I'm rushing it. I'm putting my numbers in jeopardy. I'm putting myself in jeopardy. I'm putting everything in jeopardy doing it this way, but it's the only way I'm going to get better."

Talk Around The Cooler:
In another disappointing chapter of the cannibalistic chronicles of Mike Tyson, the bankrupt boxer has announced he'll be returning to the sport for a boxing exhibition tour. Reason he's doing this - he's bankrupt. What will be the result of this tour - even more debt. When you've managed to squander $300 million dollars, you can't tell me the amazing accountant that is Mike Tyson won't squander the chump change he'll be getting from this spectacle. One thing I definitely am looking forward to are the amazing soundbites we've all come to love.

So, the white media has finally discovered "lean." Some of you might think that it's sizzurp, but no this is a bit different. This is sizzurp mixed with a Molotov cocktail of other things two large shipments of codeine he'd directed to Houston. If i'm Kiels, the best thing to say is: "my mom's got whooping cough. The bitch needs cough medicine." And it's a wrap - case closed.

Quick Hits:
Michigan is for losers. Oh the fucking irony. Finally - ESPN has seen the light