The Afternoon Wood - 09/21/2006

Don't call it a comeback!!!! We (me) back in this bitch! In all honesty, I've been a tad bit lazy (almost getting fired from my jobby job) so my apologies to our 2 loyal readers. I'm not funny anyway. That being said...on to the Wood.


Stud: Dontrelle Willis
Victor Conte Alert! This man is on the juice. Dontrelle was 3-4 with 3 RBI and 2 HR's last night against the Mets. He's also 8-0 lifetime against the Metropolitanss. Convential wisdom says he'd be undefeated if he pitched for the Mets. That thought is actually conventional tomfoolery. From the mound he pitched a solid 81/3 innings.

Dud: White Sox
This is obviously not based on by how much they lost. This is a comment on how they lost and how their fans were acting during the game. There was no effort, no life to the team whatsoever. Rather than supporting the team while it's down, the White Sox faithful opted instead to boo the team. They played like their season was over. We all know their season is over. I'll miss Ozzie and his always conservative banter.

Talk Around The Cooler
I know this has been discussed by everybody already, but I want to comment on the Oklahoma - Oregon situation. First of all, fuck Oklahoma for acting as though this is the first time a team's ever lost a game due to a bad call. If they're going to act this way, why don't we overturn EVERY game that's been decided by a bad call. Fucking sore losers. And what the fuck is the university president doing getting involved in this? Doesn't he have more important things to worry about - like academics. Not that academics really exist at that university. The snobbery of my amazing educational background is coming through.

Apparently a drunk Irishman decided to publish a news article about Tiger Woods' "porn star wife" and a few other members of the Davis Cup team's spouses.

It's not cool to clinch a division by losing...it really isn't. A few insider tidbits from the party: Alex Rodriguez was barred from celebrating because teammates said he'd take the life out of the party. Giambi ran around the locker room laughing hysterically/crying and injecting everyone with HGH, Bernie Williams on the other hand massaged his knees and balls with Ben Gay while singing some Aaron Neville tunes.

Quick Hits:
Ryan Howard for MVP? He thinks not. Bo Jacskon loves Tecmo Bowl. I guess they just like to cheat in the Northwest.