The Morning Wood - 07/05/2006

Stud: Takeru Kobayashi

Apparently it's going straight to his thighs. TK won his sixth straight Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest by chomping 53 3/4 weiners in 12 minutes *insert childish laugh*. Pretty sure I may or may not have done the same this weekend, but I was too drunk to remember. It's pretty clear that this is the greatest binging performance since this. Unfortunately, Kobayashi's main competition was still in Germany.

Dud: Benny the Bull

When mascots fight other mascots, it's funny. However, when they start throwing down w/law enforcement, things get serious (check out the last two paragraphs - I love ESPN). This toro has a history of violence, too. He clearly needs a heifer to take care of his needs, and I think I know where to find one in the Chicago area. Oprah weight zinger!

Talk Around the Cooler:
It appears that the Bulls have reached a multi-year deal w/Big Ben Wallace. As far as this Untertainer is concerned, this is huge, and will make Chicago the immediate frontrunner in the East. They gave Miami a serious scare this year, and a starting lineup of Hinrich, Gordon, Nocioni, Chandler and Wallace is formidable, especially w/Deng, Duhon and Tyrus Thomas coming off the bench. Detroit was so shook that they went out and signed Nazr Mohammad, and are currently in talks w/this guy's agent.

Quick Hits...
When a punter defines your football team, you've gone through a rough stretch.

I can't wait until my Women of the LPGA Tour swimsuit calander comes in the mail.

Who knew that July 4th coincided w/mediocre white guy signing day. Weird.

France vs. Portugal today. Viva Les Bleus!