Sports Untertainment 2006 NBA Mock Draft: Picks 11-20

11 - Orlando Magic: Ronnie Brewer, SG, Arkansas
They've got their center position sewn up w/this Serbian piece of manmeat. Dwight Howard is an absolute stud. Jameer Nelson, though undersized, has proven himself to be a point guard who can dish and score (plus he's boyz w/DJ2CoolC. What?). At small forward, I've got two words: Plastic Man. The stats don't lie, bitch. Argue with that Excel masterpiece. So that leaves the 2, and I think the right play is Rodney Carney, who is going to be one of the steals of this draft. Long, seriously athletic, can play D and stroke it. But why take him when you can grab Ronnie Brewer, a similar player who was on a worse team and doesn't shoot as well due to a childhood waterslide accident that messes w/his shooting form? I'll tell you why. B/c NBA GMs make most of their decisions drunk.

12 - New Orleans/OK City Hornets: Hilton Armstrong, PF, Connecticut
The Hornets are still dealing w/tragedy. No, I'm not talking about Hurricane Katrina. Last year they had to survive the loss of one of the league's rising stars, The Birdman, who Kenny Smith once described as "missing a couple ice cubes in his tray." Oh, how wrong he was. His dismissal prompted this headline, which, if I were a Hornets fan, would make me want reach for that syringe. P.J. Brown is old enough to have claimed his 40 acres + mule. The mule has died but Peej lives on. They clearly need help up front, and I like Armstrong to have a decent career doing yeoman's work on the boards, complimenting Chris Paul and David West nicely. Smart, not spectacular.

13 - Philadelphia 76ers: Marcus Williams, PG, Connecticut
The Sixers have been yurning for the days of Eric Snow ever since they got to the Finals. That statment may make you phisically nauseous, but it's fairly accurate. As good as Iverson has been the last few years, filling up the statsheet is not winning them anything. With A.I. and C-Webb not getting any younger, Kyle Korver not getting any straighter, and Kevin Ollie as PG option #2 when the games don't interfere w/his shift at the local Popeye's, this is actually the perfect selection: a pass first point guard that can get to the rim and dish, is ready to start, and can get Sammy Dalembert that new iMac he's been craving.

14 - Utah Jazz: J.J. Redick, SG, Duke
If there's one thing the Jazz like more than black guys who look like white guys (Boozer, Williams), it's actual white guys (Giricek, Kirilenko, Harpring, Okur, Ostertag, Jarron Collins - nice waistline). This will also set us up for endless Boozer/Redick jokes. They need a 2, and why not get even more unathletic? With the recent trade for Rafael Araujo, this is clearly their strategy. Alert Danny Ainge: WE HAVE TRADEBAIT. Imagine a lineup of Milt Palacio, Redick, Harpring, Okur and Araujo, or as I like to call it, an NBA fans' kryptonite.

15 - New Orleans/OK City Hornets: Rodney Carney, SF, Memphis
The Hornets are so desperate for size that I could see them taking another big man, but I think Carney is just too good to pass up here. This will be the steal of the draft. He's just like Desmond Mason, only he doesn't suck. Sleeper Rookie of the Year candidate with CP tossing him alleyoops all year. On a sidenote, if you want to see how good Chris Paul is, just look at their lineup. They almost made the playoffs in the Western Conference, folks. I'm stunned.

16 - Chicago Bulls: Alexander Johnson, PF, Florida State
This team is young, talented and deep at the PG, SG and SF, so even if they go large with their first pick (that they got from Isiah Thomas for Eddie Curry and a defibrulator), I think they'll follow it up here with another big. This Johnson character is raw, athletic and enjoys dunking on fools when he's not getting dunked on. It's a better option than Mike Sweetney, who, when he isn't eating himself out of the league, is daydreaming about eating himself out of the league on the court while letting people put their nuts on the rim. Also, this man was getting minutes in the post during playoff time.

17 - Indiana Pacers: Quincy Douby, SG, Rutgers
The Pacers are desperate for a shooting guard that can actually shoot, and I think Douby will be a nice compliment to the athleticism of Fred Jones, even though both are undersized. Douby strikes me as a better version of Eddie House. After seeing him carry Rutgers through the Big East, it's clear he has an enormous sack. He's the instant offense that the Pacers' second unit needs. Plus, he's thuggish enough to hang w/Stephen Jackson.

18 - Washington Wizards: Rajon Rondo, PG, Kentucky
The 'Zards are loaded offensively, but on defense, they let anyone get to the hole, like Alyssa Milano at a MLB All-Star Game party (buh-duh, tsss). Rondo can't shoot a lick, but he plays great D and is a pretty good playmaker, which will let Arenas play his more natural position at the 2 when Rondo takes the floor. They can't draft big, b/c this man needs more airtime.

19 - Sacramento Kings: Mouhamed Saer Sene, C, Senegal
This team is fairly complete, especially with the recent Ron Artest addition. They're solid at every position, but their bench is lacking big man depth. Right now, they're rockin Vittles Potapenko as their backup center. Sene is so good, he only needs one hand to shoot. Why not draft an unproven 7-footer from Africa? They seem to work out pretty well. If his NBA tenure goes the route of those studs, there's always his budding career on Broadway.

20 - New York Knicks: Marcus Vinicius Viera de Souza, SF, Brazil
Let's pray that this guy becomes a star athlete and does the Brazilian move of taking one name, otherwise he's liable to pull this move. "Madison Square Garden, are you not entertained???!!! ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???!!!" Knock Zeke all you want, but when the guy isn't dumb enough to trade his draft picks, he usually picks some decent guys (Lee, Robinson, Ariza, Frye). This crazy Brazilian sounds like he's got some game, but I'm basing this solely on Chad Ford's "expert" opinion. He'd probably put this guy in his top 10 if he declared for the draft.