Sports Untertainment 2006 NBA Mock Draft: Picks 21-30

21 - Phoenix Suns: Shannon Brown - SG, Michigan St.
If there's something the Suns are lacking, it's an athletic swingman...riiight. With this pick the only question will be if Brown can succeed without the ball in his hands. Is he a SG or is he a PG? Is he a baller or is he a wanna be crooner, a la Chris Brown, his younger and untalented brother. One thing I do know...the Suns definitely didn't miss Joe Johnson last year. I hope he's happy making millions and winning nothing in ATL. I love the integrity of basketball players.

22 - New Jersey Nets: Jordan Farmar - PG, UCLA
I love Jason Kidd, but he won't be around forever. As a result, it's up to the Nets to stock their roster with another ambiguosly looking black or white or whatever he is point guard. Just like Kidd, Farmar is a pass first PG and loves to push the ball up the court. I can see it now, Farmar on the break, lobbing the ball to Vince Carter who pulls his hamstring on the way up and limps off the floor crying. We can only hope Farmar's racial ambiguity brings similar sideline gems to Nets games such as Joumana Kidd and leaves the mysteries of human genetics behind. Frankly, when you have Jacque Vaughn, Jeff McInnis, eurotrash by the name of Zoran Planinic and Derick Zimmerman as the point guards on your roster, you might have an idea of one position that needs an upgrade.

23 - New Jersey Nets: Paul Davis - PF, Michigan St.
Why? Why not. One thing about the Nets - they're soft. Vinsanity is always on the bench wincing and whining about his latest injuries. Richard Jefferson's ears are really small, they cower when teams like Detroit and Miami set foot on the court. Now, don't even start to say that I'm calling Paul Davis a bruiser. I see him being an intense Jim McIlvaine-esque, overpaid big man running up and down the court. Kristic is too European to mix it up down low but Davis' time in the misnumbered, Big Ten (11) conference definitely toughened him up. He won't be afraid to get a little dirty down low. Don't know if that was an intended pun or not. But, Paul Davis would probably look a little something like this after getting down and dirty in the sack. SEXY!

24 - Memphis Grizzlies: Josh Boone - FC, Connecticut
Things just haven't been been the same for the Grizzlies organization since the departure of Hall of Famer, Bryant "Big Country" Reeves. You think I kid, but there hasn't been such a painstaking and deliberate jaunt up and down the court since this man left the scene. This team needs some size, they ranked 28th in the league in rebounds and 27th in the league in points scored per game. Not sure why I'm even mentioning points scored and Josh Boone in the same sentence, we both know those terms are mutually exclusive.

25 - Cleveland Cavaliers: Maurice Ager - SG, Michigan St.
I think it'd be safe to say that Damon Jones' arrival to Cleveland had less impact than expected. Unfortunately for Jones, his blood-red homage to Suge Knight during the All Star game this year definitely left some of us in awe. Lebron and Larry Hughes both like to slash to the basket, which on a team like the Mavs would likely free up a sharpshooter like Dirk on the perimeter. Not so for the Cavs who have nothing remotely close to a sharpshooter on the team. They do have a Ray Nagin look-alike though. Oh yeah, about Maurice Ager - he's a great shooter both spot up and off the dribble. He might be a bit on the short side, but he'll do just fine.

26 - Los Angeles Lakers: Daniel Gibson - PG, Texas
What do the Lakers need? Hmm...someone that sucks Black Mamba's cock on and off the court. In terms of personnel, the Lakers don't have much to work with. Smoosh Parker, while solid, would be better served coming off the bench. The name Kwame Brown speaks for itself. When you have one player on the court that does what he wants whenever he wants (including deliberately NOT shooting to prove a point), does the personnel you have on the court matter? Did Kobe rape the bitch? All questions that needed be answered before tonight's draft. Their pick? Daniel Gibson - he had an up and down season with the Longhorns this past season, but he can score from and defend on the perimeter.

27 - Phoenix Suns: Leon Powe - PF, Cal-Berkeley
A little more grit and determination was all the Suns really needed to get past the Mavs these playoffs. Unfortunately their manchild, Amare Stoudemire, was unavailable. Powe is a more athletic Ike Diogu, except Powe cares about scoring. And by scoring I mean with the ladies. God that photo is so gay. Or queer. Or homoerotic. Apparently my sensitivity training did little good.


29 - Dallas Maverics: P.J. Tucker - F, Texas
The Mavs will definitely look to add depth and another legit scoring option...Dirk can only do so much and Stackhouse is probably leaving this summer, still looking to be the number one option on a team. We can all dream, can't we? I assure you that P.J. Tucker has more talent than P.J. Brown. I have more talent than P.J. Brown...this cheerleader has more talent than P.J. Brown.

29 - New York Knicks: God Shammgod...oh wait, Dee Brown - PG, Illinois
Obviously every pick I've put up is going to happen, except this one. In a perfect world Isiah would draft a player that makes perfect sense for this team, but in the real world Isiah will most likely draft James Augustine. Why? Because it "might just be crazy enough to work out." Great words that I'd love to hear coming from my GM. But honestly, the Knicks need a true point guard that can manage a team on the court, not a selfish, me-first collection of players. Does this create a logjam of undersized guards on the team? Yes. Do I care? Does Isiah care? Short answer - no.

30 - Portland Jailblazers: James White - SG, Cincinnati
You'll only be considered for the Trailblazers if you have a somewhat lengthy track record with the authorities. Players from what program in the Big East typically fit that mold? The savagery seen on the court during Cincinnati Bearcats game can only be matched by Clint Dempsey's thugged out persona. DON'T TREAD, bitches! James White is as athletic as they come. And most likely as undisicplined as they come too, meaning he's a perfect fit for the Blazers.