Uecker, I just met her

Apparently Bob Uecker, the man up top with the deflated basketball for a face and a sweet tooth for Cosby sweaters, has had a female stalker for several years. I just want to know one thing: Why? Is it his .200 career batting average? His fine acting in Mr. Belvedere or his comedic efforts in Major League? The man recently turned 71 years old, what makes him so stalkable? Apparently the accused stalker has disappeared so the court case must be delayed. here at SU, we have determined that Uecker's stalker has simply moved on to new prey. But who would she be after now?

Sal Fasano-if she's truly sweet on poor hitting ugly catchers, look no further than here. Jesus, if anyone wants to argue for creation instead of evolution, send that picture their way.

Brian Bosworth-maybe she just loves former athletes turned actors, although it's tough to refer to the Boz as either of those two words. One definite place where the Boz has Uecker beat: style.
Peter Gammons-Perhaps the stalker just likes old balls. I love Gammons to death, but he definitely has old balls.

Maradona- Yeah, there's no real connection here, but I'm just fascinated by the way he currently looks.

The other announcer guy from Major League-Who is apparently a musician? Chicks loves dudes who can play the guitar, so we have some other athletes who should watch out like Hendrix over here or Clapton over here.