The Morning Wood - 06/23/2006

Stud: Isiah Thomas.
Honestly, this man must have cojones the size of freaking honeydew melons. Owner Jim Dolan is clearly 'Zeke's beotch. Who would have the balls to fire the man he signed for the GDP of Luxembourg, then name himself head coach to lead his merry band of misfit off-guards. Thomas plans on starting Jamal Crawford, Steve Francis, Stephon Marbury, Nate Robinson, and is currently in contract negotiations w/"Sky." In a press conference, Brown mentioned that he plans on going back to his first love - haute couture.

Dud: The United States Men's National Team
Simply awful. I was pumped for a run to the second round, Italy did everything we needed them to do, and we couldn't beat a country of 22million. Question: if the Ghanians take 300 dives and 80,000 Germans are there to see, does Landon Donovan make a sound? This guy was supposed to lead our team, and I swear he had about 4 touches yesterday, none of which were quality. You're wicked tough, Landon, a fantastic dresser, and you ooze machismo. I blame everything on you. And I'm very upset.

Talk Around the Cooler:
So Roger Clemens made his debut yesterday, and SU colleague Hasmitt was apparently wearing his Nostradomus hat, predicting the outcome w/stunning accuracy. Bravo, my friend. Rog struggled with his pitchcount through 5 innings, though I think he'll end up winning 11 games or so. Also, it's rare that you see two masters of the strikeout in the same spot.

Quick Hits...
There are four chromosomes missing. Someone get on the case.

I'm going on record, predicting that Clint Dempsey gets signed by a good European team within the next year. Looked great all Cup long.

I'm not sure why Mrs. Wade thought that wearing her church clothes was necessary during this interview. Let your hair down, Siohvaughn. That's SIOHVAUGHN.

Eye-tie manlove.

Who has to sit next to these two clowns? JJ is bringing a flask of Malibu.