The Morning Wood - 1/12/2006

Stud: Steve Nash
He's good. He had 21 assists last night. He is the first player in 9 years to have two 20+ assist games in one season. He got all sorts of comfortable with this lady. I didn't by some wild stretch of the imagination. He is a stud.

Dud: Chris Webber (he loves white women)
C-Webb got C-Waived by the Sixers last night. Ooooohhh got 'em! There's nothing that says, you're worthless like being paid to remove yourself from all team-related activity. Or having to do septic inspections on a daily basis. Happy trails Webber. But I'll give you a stud (lower case) for producing Blunt Ashes on Nas' new album. Good shit mayne.

Talk Around The Cooler:
Ok. So my favorite player, Barry Bonds, tested postive for greenies. At this point who gives a fuck? You know who? The white media - and with a name like Pedro Gomez, you know that that white homo is at the forefront of this. At some point the baseball establishment will have to come to terms with the fact that the sport is not as "pure" as they'd like to believe. I say embrace the fact that what we're all seeing may/may not be true ability. The NFL seems to be doing fine with steroids.

Booyakasha! Feel me now!!! And now my goal (read: black male's carnal lust) of "meeting" Posh Spice (read: slutty white girl) will soon only be 3,000 miles away. The interesting point about this story is not how much he's being paid or the fact that someone's decided to play in a league who's players don't actually play what the league promotes (does that make any sense?). The real story is that the tremor felt all across LA yesterday was the collective twitching of millions of vaginas in response to the Beckham news. Respeck!

Michelle Wie still sucks and is actually getting worse with every single tournament. How bout you fucking prove yourself on a more reasonable playing field. I would say on a level playing field, but she's shown us that most of the LPGA is head and shoulders (but not breasts) above her in talent.

Quick Hits:
This is why this country doesn't have an obesity problem. This is dedication. Stupid motherfockers. THIS SHOW IS OVA!!!