The Morning Wood - 11/01/2006

Stud: Chicago Bulls
Wow. I mean, wow. I don't want to brag about my clairvoyant skills, or make snap judgements about a season after one game, but I'm about to do both - check out the Morning Wood from 07/05/2006, Talk Around the Cooler. Yeah, that's correct. Anyway, they looked freaking amazing last night: incredible interior defense, lots of pinpoint shooting, fantastic off-the-ball movement, and Tyrus Thomas looks like he's going to be an incredible sparkplug off their very deep bench. Even P.J. Brown appeared to have some life in him. With Kirk Hinrich's new contract, his midwest flava is going to be tough to contain. I look forward to watching this team win 55 games this year.

Dud: Miami Heat
I think that Miami's situation can be summed up in one statement: This guy got fifteen minutes of burn for our defending champions. They really need to straighten out their point guard situation, too, b/c as goofy as Quinn is, I feel confident in saying that he was clearly more effective that Gary Payton, who has gone from this to this. Antoine Walker, after shooting 28% in the preseason, opened up the year by going 0-6 from downtown. Only one player reached double figures. It literally made me nauseous, but not as much as their ring ceremony, where an announcer somehow made Michael Doleac and Jason Kapono sound like All-Stars. And I'm going on record as saying that Jalen Rose is anything but the answer to their problems.

Talk Around the Cooler:
In the evening's other contest, Phoenix looked like the class of the league in the first quarter, dropping 41 on the youthful Lakers, including 7 short-haired Steve Nash assists. After that, they employed the Jamal Crawford technique and let the Lakers shoot 55% from the floor en route to a 114-106 victory for LaLaLand. I was sort of impressed by LA, but it didn't help that Amare played 12 minutes and Boris Diaw went on an offseason all-fois gras diet. They could really use a legit big to make a few defensive stops, and if Amare doesn't progress as hoped, they could be in a little bit of trouble.

Remember when the soul-less wonder, Skip Bayless, trashed a 17-year-old Andrew Bynum about being a #1 pick, ridiculed his myspace page, and called him a "tragic clown?" Well, after that 18/9/5 night with some really beautiful moves, I just hope Skip doesn't hurt himself inserting his foot in his mouth.

Quick Hits...
You can't really tell from this picture, but Vlad Radmanovic's mullet is so amazing that I think he'll be getting a few shifts on the Kings' penalty killing unit. Seriously, there's no question that a blowdryer is involved. Please be on the lookout. I love the TNT studio crew, but they better not allow Magic Johnson to become a regular. He makes Tim McCarver look like a MENSA member. Omar Minaya must be drunk-dialing contract extension offers.