NBA Preview: Golden State Warriors

"No Adonal, it's okay, I got it. Go fix me a sandwich or something"


Changes:
The big offseason news was not new personnel on the court, but the return to the sidelines by Don Nelson. As part of Nelson's deal, the Warriors will have one Gatorade cooler on the court at all times filled with Nelson’s cocktail of choice during the game. Rudy Tomjanovich is jealous. Chris Mullen is getting a straw. They drafted Patrick O'Bryant who conveniently fractured his foot on a shamrock at an offseason scrimmage. And perhaps hoping to find another talented Euro, Nelson and crew drafted Kosta Perovic, a 7' 2" Croatian who's yet to see one second on the court. BRILLIANT! In the "worthless trades that fail to benefit either team" department, the Warriors traded away Derek Fisher for Devin Brown, Keith McLeod and Andre Owens. I guess this transaction was more a measure of which team wanted their former players least. Da Juan Vogner has returned to the league after...well, I don't know what the hell he was doing but I still can't find my wallet! Unfortunately, he didn't happen to grow 4 inches in his time away, so he's still a under sized guard who can't pass.

Style of Playng:
Baron Davis, when not on the bench with back issues and aging at three times the normal rate of any other human, will dribble the ball up the court and immediately toss up a 32 foot jumper, Troy Murphy will get the rebound and kick it out to Jason Richardson, who will attempt a 1080 from the free throw line, Murphy will come down with that rebound and will throw the ball through the transparent Michael Dunleavy. Adonal Foyle will be told to stop laughing by the team dentist, who is installing his fifth set of railroad tie braces. Seriously, watch them this year.

Impact Player:
J-Rich. This guy averaged 23.2 last year, good for 13th in the league. He's coming in to the season banged up but look for Richardson to establish himself as a premier shooting guard with another solid season. Let's just all collectively hope that he hasn't lost his spring. Wow, a shooting guard that made it from Michigan State. Hmm.

Player you would most like to get arrested with and where:
I would love to get arrested with Adonal Foyle, Mike Dunleavy, and Troy Murphy. The crime would be robbery: are you aware that the Golden Showers owe these guys a combined $144 million? I'm not joking.

Prediction:
I seem to recall some people rocking preseason chubbies for the Warriors last year as hot playoff pick. Keep this in mind at all times: people tend to be assholes. This just doesn't feel like a team that can reach .500, even with Nellie (no Timbo production) guiding the way. 39-43. On another prediction level, I plan on having a massive smile on my face when K.G., Tim Duncan, Amare, and Dirk (when will this list end?) show up on the "Mike Dunleavy is a four" tour