The Morning Wood - 10/27/2006

Stud: Branden Ore
Why? Because I said so. The Va Tech team has fallen off somewhat this year, with a less talented team and also a team less likely to spike calves and brandish firearms in parking lots but they received some shine last night, knocking off #10 Clemson 24-7. Iron Ore (eh) was the driving force behind the victory, rushing for 203 yards and two touchdowns. He did this all in front of former Hokie Lee Suggs, who took some time off from taking time off to attend the game.

Dud: Bruce Bochy
This mustached man walked away from his San Diego contract yesterday, deciding to head up scenic Route 1 and become Felipe Alou's replacement in San Francisco. Why does this make him a dud? Because he's leaving San Diego man!! Leaving behind Fish tacos, fish tacos, and beaches. Come on Bochy. Good luck managing Bonds next year if he comes back. Your replacement will be drinking $1.50 happy hour margarita's at Fred's mexican cafe, beating off young dirty blonde pouzzle with Trevor Hoffman's cane.

Talk Around the Cooler:
So yeah, I picked the Tigers in five games. You want to know why? Because I think the NL is garbage. I think the Cardinals have perhaps the most boring team in the history of baseball and that they have one starter, one reliever, and three position players that could hang in the AL. Jeff Suppan's era in the AL East would require a comma. So I don't think the Tigers will be winning in five any longer but I know the problem: they went from being a laughingstock to a shocking surprise to heavy favorites in a year. They are some confused identity wise that they can't keep it together. Well that and their pitching has completely failed them. I can't believe David Eckstein is going to get to hold the World Series trophy. Is he going to be able to hold up? Is Rolen going to hold it for him? Is he going to be shit faced and puking after a half a Bud Light? I don't know how this is talk around the cooler but I'm not at work and you can screw.

Quick Hits...
Yeah, no shit. Anything else you need to explain to me three months after I've figured it out? What, you wanted a live one? PGA nobody Doug Barron went topless to take a shot yesterday, which I'm sure was athetically pleasing as his dimensions are 5'9" and 170. Mmmmm, meaty. Hey Gulbis, just think it over babe. Tiki Barber and Michael Irvin are having a little cat fight over Tiki's retirement announcement with Irvin calling it "quitting" and Tiki calling Irvin an idiot. I have to agree with Tiki here but perhaps the animosity goes a little deeper: maybe Irvin realizes that 97% of America can't understand a thing he says while Tiki Barber is a pronouncing superfreak. Does someone feel like they might be losing their job soon? I hope so. Back to you Mort!