The Morning Wood - 10/18/2006

Stud: Jeff Weaver
Possibly motivated by the desire to not be the lesser half of the greatest brother/brother talent disparity since this duo (or maybe exhibit A and B), Jeff threw another solid playoff start, going 6 inning while giving up only 2 runs on 6 hits to the vaunted Metropolitan's lineup. He and younger brother Jared look so much alike that I'm beginning to wonder whether the Cardinals are pulling the ol' Lookie-Lou, to reference the horrific movie that was Ocean's Twelve. Either way, kudos to whatever Weaver stepped out there and got the job done. If the Cardinals make it to the World Series with their rotation/lineup, I'm going to start a group that will advocate for the reinstatment of rampant, possibly manditory, steriod-use.

Dud: Shaun Rogers
Speaking of juicin', Shaun Rogers has been suspended for four games under the NFL's steroid and related substances policy. One caveat, though: the drug he took supposedly was not an anabolic steroid, but actually something used to control his weight that he claims came from a supplement bought at GNC. Since when does a defensive tackle try to control their weight? And what is the NFL saying? That they'd rather have this than someone who is trying to keep their weight at a "reasonable" 345 lbs? Is the league in cahoots with diabetes drug manufacturers?

Talk Around the Cooler:
This story has reached untapped bounds of hilarity in all ways. First off, I'm fairly certain that the principals (Robert Lugo, Elpidio Uribe, Jose Manuel Encarnacion, Antonio Gonzalez Perez) are all Major League baseball players. Also, Uribe, who denies shooting anyone, claims that he's being extorted for 1 million pesos, or roughly $0.63 American. Juan, you make over $3 million a year; if you could make this all go away from a million pesos, you would have done it. Also, one man involved is being referred to as "the Italian." How about everyone calms down over there in the DR so that when the Mets get knocked out of the playoffs, Pedro Martinez can go back home and spend the winter sitting under his mango tree. Santo Domingo, indeed!

Quick Hits...
. . . and it's the first defending he's done in six years in the league. Bah-zing! (please don't tell him I said that). Scroll down to the YouTube video and enjoy. That's 6'1" of the Celtics future. Color me sold. In the most important nonsportsrelated story of the day, if they can't make it, who can? I smell a variety show in someone's future! He's like the African-American male Kelly Ripa.