Moments With Michael - Week 6

The football season may have started 6 weeks ago, but when was the last time we were ever on top of things. Introducing Moments with Michael, our weekly conversation with one of the most esteemed commentators in the game today, Michael Irvin. Here you'll receive the most insightful look atthe upcoming week in the NFL.

SU: Michael, first of all I want to thank you for this opportunity, we sincerely appreciate it.
MI: HAHAHAHAHA. YEAH MAN, that's what I keep tellin you. Right Mike?

SU: No, I'm Giddy.
MI: Yeah, I wasn't talkin' t you man. That was me talkin' to myself. Gettin myself pumped up for this interview.

SU: Fair enough. Before we get into this week's football topics, there's no way I can let an interview go without discussing your attire. For those not in attendance I'll give you a thorough description: A lime green 3-piece, pinstripe suit. The stripes are pink. This is tastefully accented with an electric pink shirt and a tie-dyed bow tie. But let's not forget the accents. Bright green snake skin shoes with a matching snake skin belt. Oh wait, Michael is emptying his pockets...out he pulls a lime green crack pipe to show me. This, ladies and gentleman is why I love this man. Now that that's done, what are your top 3 storylinesfor this past week?
MI: HAHAHAHA. Man, you CRAZY. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Well you know it's got to be the Towboys. No ladies and gentleman I did not mist-speak. The TO - T-O Boys. Dat his team. Yesterday's pahfoormance was like. WHO'S CITY IS IT? It's my city and it is my team. I know it not Parcells' city. I KNOW IT's not Parcells, city. Right TJ?

SU: What?
MI: SO YOU SAYIN' T.O. DOESN'T WANT TO WIN? HAHAHAHAHA. BECAUSE THERE WERE BLIPS IN THAT GAME AND HE. BLAME HIM AND YOU WRONG. IT'S THE NFC EAST. THAT'S HOW WE PLAY. T.O. WANT TO WIN. Fuck the Eagles!

SU: Is any of this English?
MI: HAHAHA. Yeah, the playcalling. That's is what did them in, you see. AIN'T THAT RIGHT TJ?

SU: I don't think Tom Jackson is anywhere present.
MI: HAHAHA. Well let's talk about the other TJ - Larry Johnston.

SU: Larry Johnson
MI: Ain't that's what I said? Well anyways, he was like the Exorcism last week with that move he did. Never seen that on the football field. HAHAHAHA. Can you buhleeve what did to to my man Pot-and-matu yesterday? Now, over to Boomer.

SU: Stop that! Interesting pronunciation, by the way. What about this upcoming week?
MI: The STEELERS versus the Falcums. Man, expect to see Vick flying all through the field...you know what I mean? HA. Potamalu and Joey Porter's pit bulls gon try turn him to horsemeat. PETA what you got to say 'bout that. Check out the skin on my shoes and HOLLA at me! HAHAHA. My closet is a pet cemetary!

SU: Next story?
MI: Who will be traded? Will he be traded? It's all 'bout the diminishing skills or is the man not interest. And you know who I am referencin'. Randy Mast. Moss. And the otha porter. The REAL Porter, Jerry. The deadline is comin, man HAHAHAHA. Right Mort?

SU: There is no fucking Chris Mortensen around here. And it's not Sunday morning. What the fuck is wrong with you? And to paraphrase for the audience - crackhead Jenkins over here thinks one of the Raiders wide receivers might be traded.
MI: Bigxactly!! And my last storyline this week is Carooolina and the Benghouls. Say that wit' me Giddy, GHOUUUULS. And all I gots to say is trick or treat. It's almost Halls of Wing, and I'm gettin some tricks I don't know 'bout you HAHAHA. AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! The question is what treats they be givin me. All I know is it better involve vanilla frosting. So there's my pick between those two.

SU: Wait what's the pick?
MI: Well, Giddy. That's not my job. That's not my job. We'll see next week.

SU: With that last comment we should really end things there. Mike, really appreciate your time, really looking forward to next week. Or am I?
MI: HAHAHAHAHA. I am too man, I am too. Now, let's throw it back to COACH DITKA!

SU: Motherfucker, this isn't Countdown. Stop that shit!