The Morning Wood - 10/06/2006

Stud: Old Man River
I wonder if "ageless veterans" mind being referred to as ageless, wily, crafty, cagy, etc. I'd be somewhat annoyed if those were the types of words people used to describe me. Fortunately terms such as angry, uppity and classless are my claim to fame.

Dud: Philadelphia 76ers
This kind of seals it. Obviously this isn't on par with our American team losing to Greece, but apparently we don't care about competing anymore. My only assumption is that we can't deal with lack of hygiene on the court. Love dirty euro's. Do Chinese and Japanese characters look like less of the written word and more like ink blot tests? Stop me now!!

Talk Around The Cooler:
Apparently Stephen Jackson mistook his drunkeness for a game of Grand Theft Auto last night. After getting hit by a car he engaged in some target practice, using his 9-milli to shoot back at the perpetrators. In a word - amazing. I love this guy.

If anybody knows how to beat his wife - and do it the right way, it's Brett Myers. Apparently this model of a man beat his wife into getting her to drop charges. Brilliant!! Albert Haynesworth has been calling him day and night for tips.

Quick MLB Playoff Round-up: In the series nobody cares about, the Cardinals are leading the Padres, 2-0 (horrible headline). The Yankees are hoping the Big Unit lays it on the Tigers. The Twins are looking to one-up Torii Hunter and do a full-on nose dive out of the playoffs.

Quick Hits:
I love Clinton Portis. Wow, I actually agree with Jason Whitlock. I guess I also love Pacman Jones - and I agree with him too.