The Morning Wood - 06/15/2006

Stud: Oliver Neuville.
Not that many studs last night. Besides Matt Clement of course. So I guess we'll toss it to zee German who scored the lone goal in the 91st minute of their match with Poland. It just shows you that not all Germans choke at the end of games. Just kidding Dirk, but you better show up for game 4

Dud: Esteban Loaiza
Now if you had one or two many Flirtinis, how would you handle it? Personally, I don't think driving 120 mph in a Ferrari would be the way to handle it. Was he brandishing a hand gun while listening to Ice T? Was this guy riding shotgun?

Talk Around the Cooler:
The U.S. Open starts today and Tiger Woods is back. The course at Winged Foot is supposed to be quite the challenge this year. Mention something about thick roughs and how Winged Foot was named after Teddy Roosevelt's deformed daughter and you should be all set.

Dwyane Wade's knee is apparently almost as screwed up as his first name. If he isn't a good 85%, the series is over. Fat Man Shaq apparently landed on the knee. Any one notice Shaq's dad in the stands of game 3? I can't find a picture, but I could have sworn it was E 40. Someone figure this out.

Quick Hits...
If I'm George W. Bush, I feel pretty insulted that the Stanley Cup finalists are the Oilers and the Hurricanes. I'm not saying these team names highlight some of your weakest points as a president, I'm just surprised that those two teams didn't beat the Free Iraqis and Wiretaps to make it into the finals. Chris Henry must have taken me seriously about that ESPN job. I am fully convinced that the 15 and 16 year old could have out wine coolered J.J. Redick. Steve Finley joined a group so exclusive that someone just joined it last week. The Yankees and the Indians had a dust up last night but it just proves two things: Jason Johnson isn't a very good pitcher and Randy Johnson is still an asshole.