Opportunities Available to Tiki Barber If He Retires

Take away a “friend’s” crack pipe
Be acquitted of murdering some white folk
Become Mr. Angie Harmon
Wear glow in the dark suits
WWF
Take roles that Dennis Rodman turns down
Translate Shannon Sharpe
Punch a Prostitute
Do Radio Shack commercials with Vanessa Williams
Run for Political Office
Impersonate his brother at team meetings to piss off Gruden
Become a Tom to Chris Berman
Spend time with his family