NBA Preview: Memphis Grizzlies

"I only came here to do two things: wear tight long-sleeved shirts with cartoon guys on the front and kick some ass and I bet you can tell which is one is left on my agenda"


Changes:
Bryant Reeves is not going to walk through this door! The Grizzlies once again made the playoffs (3 years in a row) and once again failed to win a game (3 years in a row). They traded away Shane Battier, one of those guys that does a little bit of everything (with ridges in his hair) and spun that into Rudy Gay and Stromile Swift. Ugh, Stromile Swift. In high school, Stromile was voted most likely to disappear for three quarters of a NBA game. And Most School Spirit. Rudy Gay has two options as far as I can tell: become this guy or become this guy. I don’t trust his work ethic or heart. Finally, patriotism is the pits! Pau Gasol, fresh off his finest season as a pro, broke his foot playing in the meaningless world championships (and I’m not just saying that because the U.S. team finished in a 3rd. It all becomes meaningless when an athlete seriously injures himself playing in his offseason) and he won’t be around until the beginning of 2007.

Style of Play:
The Grizzlies have a good mix of three point shooters (Mike Miller, Eddie Jones, Damon Stoudamire, Chucky Atkins) although none of them are truly scary. Pau’s spot will hopefully be filled by Hakim Warrick, who brings more athleticism but less Spaniardism and a less polished all around game. Stromile Swift, Dahntay Jones, and Warrick are all capable of taking your breathe away with their athleticism at times, and that time is usually once on the 2nd Tuesday of every month.

Impact Player:
The answer here would be Pau but he is out half the season so I will have to say Mike Miller, the reigning 6th man of the year. Miller has really refined his all around game and I’d have to say that some of that has to do with the fact that he no longer plays video games with Tracy McGrady for 7 hours a day. (Hell, maybe he does. Hell, who am I to call him out? In fact, I love it. I hope he does play video games with McGrady 7 hours a day. I hope they fishbowl their room, and eat massive amounts of Pizzeria Uno Pizza while drinking Yoohoo. Topless. With winter hats on). Anyway, he will definitely be a key for this team in the beginning of the season until the Spanish Fly returns.

Player you would most like to get arrested with and where:
I’m going with my boy Jake Tsakalidis. Imagine him in a cop car. He’s 7’2”. We would be hanging out at Justin’s in Atlanta probably with the Dungeon Family (not limited to, but definitely including him, him, him, and him) and we’d all get a little bit too crunk on the purple stuff and tha pooolice would run…wait, what, I thought he was from Georgia. They’ve got one of those in Russia? Really? Umm, okay, we’d get arrested for cutting someone named Ivan in the bread line.

Prediction:
I think the loss of Battier and the Gasol-less period will stop them from reaching last year's win total. I see them getting hot down the stretch and finishing at 42-40, just out of the playoff picture in the Wild Wild West.