The Morning Wood - 11/06/2006

Stud: Florida Gators
No, not the football team (although they did clinch a berth in the SEC Championship game following a win this weekend). But the Gator basketball team featuring the player you love to hate, Joachim Noah. College basketball's 1st AP poll was released this week with the former champs (returning all 5 starters) ranked #1. In completely unrelated news, just want to say fuck Duke.

Dud: Pittsburgh Steelers
And you can't blame this one solely on Roethlisberger (he did have 433 passing yards). You know those teams that manage to get your hopes up then manage to fuck things up at the most inopportune time? That team is your 2006 Pittsburgh Steelers. Hines Ward's fumble at the goal line yesterday was emblematic of the Steelers season, as were Santonio Holmes' two fumbles, as were Roethlisberger's three interceptions, as were...

Talk Around The Cooler:
Old Man River broke his leg during PSU's football game against Wisconsin on Saturday. Me being in the spiteful mood that I'm in today, I can't help but hope that would be the last ever memory of Paterno on the sideline. Unfortunately, he won't deny himself the boners he gets seeing young men prance all over the field; he's slated to be back on the sidelines sooner than later.

Yesterday proved that "parity" in the NFL does not exist. What does exist is a collection of average and bad teams competing against each other. In a quick recap of yesterday's games, T.O. is again under a suicide watch after dropping a fucking gift from the Romobanger himself. Tom Brady threw four interceptions last night but the media will make excuses for him - I mean, he is the best quarterback to ever play the sport. The Ravens defense looks as good as it did en route to their Super Bowl XXXV victory. Yeah, I said it.

Despite having only one testicle, Lance Armstrong managed to complete the NYC Marathon. Talk about a huge accomplishment while being a man down.

Quick Hits:
Hopefully War Emblem will be an inspiration to other gay athletes. The Rangers selected a new manager today, I wonder how long it'll take getting used to not having a pitching staff. YES - equal opportunity ogling!