The Morning Wood - 07/10/2006

Stud(s): Italian Soccer Team
This is more of an obligatory stud than a congratulatory one. The flopping, diving and Oscar-worthy displays of the Azzuri paid off. That's about all I have to say. Can't write this without mentioning Zidane's bone-headed antics towards the end of the game. I've never seen a head butt to the chest knock someone off their feet. Actually, I've never seen a head butt to the chest. Either Zidane is a supremely powerful man or the Iti is as gay as we'd all presume. I assume it's the latter. FIFA needs to get diving out of the game - it's ruins the game. At least for us uninformed Americans. It's kind of hard for us Yankees to watch American football and see a QB get blindsided by a 290-pound lineman get right up off the ground but a guy on the pitch get tripped and lay on the ground like he just got stabbed by Ray Lewis.

Should Be Stud - Roger Federer
This man is pretty talented. Four Wimbledon titles in a row, only one set lost the entire tournament. With eight grand slam titles, he's already ahead of John McEnroe and already tied with Jimmy Connors, Ivan Lendl and Andre Agassi. He's only 24.

Womens Rights Movement Stud - Amelie Mauresmo.
I know, I know - she's a man - blah blah blah. But there's nothing we can do about it. I know she's ruining the sport. Men shouldn't be allowed to play women's sports. It tilts the level of competition. There, I said it.

Dud: Roderick Green
Who the fuck is Roderick Green? A nobody on the Ravens who got stabbed last night. Good thing Ray Lewis wasn't anywere near the premises. Shit would have hit the fan and no one would have come out of that bowling alley alive, including Roderick Green.

Talk Around The Cooler:
Danica Patrick is investigating the possibilities of accomplishing nothing in another league. Hopefully dedicated NASCAR fans like this guy will take a liking to her.

So, after thinking they had their future tied up for 5 years, out comes the possibility that LeBron James actually has the ability to opt out of his contract after 3 seasons. Probability that he'll opt out after 3 seasons? Same probability that this guy will apologize for nothing again - and then go right back to cheating...again. He's not an All-Star. I am angry today.

WE'RE GONNA MISS HIM!!!! (inside joke)

Barbaro, why the long face? Gets me everytime. Ronaldinho, why the long face?

Quick Hits:
There's nothing better than the promotions in minor league baseball.

If you think it's hard being Michael Jordan, imagine being Allen Heckard.

Just so you guys know, the Carolina Panthers are going to win the Super Bowl. Mark Schlereth, Mike Golic and Sean Salisbury "steak" have made all the predictions for this upcoming season and we know they'll come true. Why even watch any of the games?

Seems like I have a case of the Mondays...