Around Town With Ricky Manning Jr.

Ricky's 2007 black Hummer with 24 inch shiny ass rims tears down a Chicago street, Common blaring from the speakers. It abruptly stops, parking illegally in front of a Starbucks. Ricky heads inside, surrounded by his posse, the Bonus Spendaz. In the store, they encounter a man with glasses on...
"What up Specks?"
"Wow, you're Ricky Manning right? Could I get your autogr..."
"Four eyes."
"What??"
"Oh, you can't hear or see, Four eyes?"
"Did you just call me four eyes? Isn't that from 1985?"
Ricky punches out the stranger.
"Who's from 1985 now?"

He walks up to the next table, his posse barely able to move in the store due to their inflated Avirex coats. Here he encounters a couple conversing...
"She's got cooties!"
"Ricky Manning? I'm the biggest Bears fan! We're going to have a great secondary now that..."
"Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot, now I've got a cootie shot."
"What??"
"This guy likes girls!! Ewwwww!"
"Are you serious?"
Ricky smashes the couple's heads together, knocking them out.
"Girls smell bad!!"

Ricky moves to the next table, where a person is reading the newspaper...
"What are you reading, the Nerd Times?"
Various OH SNAPs come from the posse.
"The Chicago Tribune actually."
"What's that, the Chicago Try Poo??"
More OH SNAPs.
"Can I help you?"
Ricky head butts the man, knocking him out.
"Extra extra, read all about it: this dude got knocked!"

Ricky brandishes a firearm and fires two shots into the ceiling.
"MUTHAF*CKIN TATER TOTS!!"
Ricky and his posse run out of the Starbucks.

To be Continued...